Psychology of Sex

The Psychology of sexual fantasies is rather fascinating. People often fail to realise that those things that turn them on the most are directly linked to childhood experiences. This part of our mind, lays on the hidden part of the iceberg… The subconscious mind.

Fetishism is still a taboo nowadays. We live in a society that tells us who we should be and what we should act like, instead of motivating us towards our congruence. Sex is a life force, it possesses you the same way music does. There is a pace, a rhythm, sounds and body movements. It’s like a choreography; therefore, synchronisation is essential. Passion is preferred, although not imperative. And our minds become elevated to a different place, dimension, where there are many sensations, interventions, sentiment, perspective and animal instinct.

Sex is part of us, and we are part of sex. In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, sex is portrayed as a physiological need; which makes it a primary element in our life. According to this pyramid, if we experience sexual deprivation, this will have psychological repercussions that will prevent us from reaching our congruence. This, in my opinion, is legit. The great news is that you can always fuck yourself. {Laughter}.

Sex is considered a survival need, along with other basic requirements such as breathing, water, sleep and food. Similarly, sexual intimacy, which requires a deeper connection is found on the third level. Here, Maslow is talking about what we commonly refer to as “making love”. It is not a requirement to survive, but it’s an element of belonging to “someone” (partner) or “something” (relationship). And if you were to ask me to reveal a secret, I’d say that whether we consciously understand it or not, sex is a natural tantric act, which means, it is inherently love. Sounds like a contradiction? It is merely a dichotomy. A spectrum.

There is a quote I heard in the film “Nymphomaniac” by Lans Von Trier.  It said: “The secret ingredient to sex… is love”. I completely agree with this.

But going back to my initial analogy, just like there is a cornucopia of music genres, there are plenty of ways to have sex. Some people prefer the sensual preface, like salsa. The hips become the drums, and the hands explore the opposite body. Other people skip a preamble, and become intensely merged with each other’s bodies, like heavy metal. Passionate love making is a bit like Spanish acoustic guitar. The rhythms involve all series of movements, styles and paces. Or could be hip hop, and then the system is fucked. {Laughter}.

Sex can be beautiful, sublime, wild, magnetic, ephemeral, eternal, creative, uncomplicated, intricate, chaotic, intelligent, diligent, meaningful or meaningless. No one has the exact same taste in music, and likewise, no one has the exact same fantasies. However, just as two people might have some kind of common ground when it comes to artists, they might have commonalities regarding sex.

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